Honestly, now.

Wow.  Ummmmmmm………….the action was alright.

That’s about the nicest thing I have to say about the newest Transformers movie.  And concerning the rest of my opinion, where do I start?

How about some plot failures?  Can anyone explain to me why it only took the shard to revive a Deceptacon but Optimus Prime needed the matrix?

Sean and I argued about my next point.  He claims that the script was written by machines.  I think it sounds a whole lot more like a bunch of whiny middle school students.  For those of you who didn’t see the movie, here’s an example.

Female Lead: How do you feel about me?

Male Lead: I adore you.

Female Lead: *pouts because he didn’t used the “L-word”

Male Lead: You say it first.

Female Lead: No, YOU say it first.

Male Lead: I’m dead!

Female Lead:  Wait! I love you!

Male Lead: Aha! I’ve resurrected!

Female Lead: Oh! I did say it first!

Me: gags.

This is the sort of drivel that I have never been able to tolerate.  The movie played on EVER SINGLE SACCHARINE cliche and over-done movie line.  Sadly, they didn’t even pick the good ones.  Tacky. Tacky. Tacky.

Speaking of tacky, the first Transformers movie kinda annoyed me by how it fawned over “the President” (pretty obviously Bush) and the military.  Whatever.  In this movie, the world is in immediate danger because of Obama.  That’s right. They named names.  Yeeesh.  The rest of the movie pretty clearly depicts the President as an idiot and a jackass.  The military, however, doesn’t seem to behave like the military at all.  Soldiers clearly disobeyed direct orders, took orders from civilians, and never noticed that their communications system was compromised.  However, the movie does make a nice showcasing of the military’s more expensive toys and how the expensive toys save the world.  Sounds like someone would like more funding.

And while I get that the military would rather not share it’s toys with people wanting to criticize them, this came off way, way too strong.  Think tacky-granny-perfume strong.  Yes, movie makers, I understand that you have strong feelings concerning politics.  However, I came to see an action movie.  Sadly, I could not enjoy your action movie because I was choking on all the other crap you shoved down my throat.

I’m going to bed.